To Love And To Protect
by Just-Absolutely-Super
Summary: Marinette was used to Chat Noir sacrificing himself for her. It's become a regular thing that, while not welcome, is expected of him. Her way of thinking changes after knowing who exactly is underneath that mask...


**AN: **You ever think about how Marinette loves Adrien so much that she's bound to lose her shit if anything ever happened to him because this isn't just her superhero partner we're talking about now, it's the boy she's crazy in love with? And do you ever think about how Rena Rouge and Carapace got Akumatized on Heroes Day because they saw their loved one in trouble and think that that's probably why Ladybug and Chat Noir aren't telling each other their identities because you know they'll be the same way but probably 100x worse? I do.

This may or may not be compliant with the end of season 3 since I haven't watched the finale yet (NO SPOILERS!). But that shouldn't matter anyways because this is fanfiction and all fanfic is, like, 90% canon divergent. So I'm goooooood.

This is post-reveal and established relationship btw. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **Don't own.

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Ladybug was starting to think that learning Chat Noir's identity wasn't the best decision she could have made.

It was bad enough learning that all those times she stuttered and made a fool of herself in front of Adrien, it was actually _Chat_ who was watching her. (Marinette would have taken a vow to never leave her room again had Tikki not talked some sense into her and the boy in question actively reassured her clumsiness was _endearing_ to him instead of a turn off. Still, that didn't stop the cringe attacks she gets whenever she thinks about it…). But now that she knew the love of her life was fighting actual super villains with her, facing off against Akumas got a bit harder.

Because—per Chat Noir fashion—the boy _always_ had a tendency to get hit by the Akumas, whether it be by accident or to save his partner. Either way, Marinette never found it appealing when he did that. He was her most trusted friend; seeing him fall by the bad guy's hands always made her stomach twist in uncomfortable knots.

So when it registered in her brain that that was actually _Adrien _getting hit, well, Marinette saw _red_.

The current Akuma she and Chat were fighting was a particularly tough one. It was similar to those like Pixelator, Desperada, and Party Crasher where the villain would zap their opponent and trap them in some sort of subspace. Only this one sent you to some kind of inter-dimensional…type of place…thing.

(She really wasn't sure, it was some kind of physics thing and Marinette isn't all that great at physics no matter how many hours Adrien tries his hardest to tutor her.)

Despite the complicated schematics of The Dimentor's (that's what he was calling himself apparently) power, Ladybug knew one thing: if he hit either her or Chat, it would all be over. They had to concentrate and act quickly and precisely.

Ladybug had summoned her Lucky Charm and was trying to come up with a plan while hiding in the shadow of a chimney. As she viewed her surroundings to pick out the pieces of her plan, she felt she had everything figured out. She smirked and was about to call to her partner when she heard the faint sound of The Dimentor's attack beam charging.

"Look out, Ladybug!"

Before she had any time to react, she felt the wind knock out of her as Chat Noir shoved her out of the way. She helplessly watched as the beam engulfed Chat in a dark light and basically wiped him out of existence.

She froze, no longer feeling herself breathe.

"Mwahahaha!" The Dimentor laughed, "Guess that takes care of one pest! Now for the bug!"

Ladybug just lied there, staring at the space Chat Noir previously occupied. Where _she _had occupied before he jumped to save her.

Chat was gone…

_Adrien _was gone…

And it was _all her fault_!

Ladybug's not sure what happened afterwards. She thinks she had blacked out from the grief and rage she felt. Her body was on autopilot and her mind checked out. Her senses only came back when she realized that she wasn't working with the original plan she had meticulously calculated. She was just _fighting_. Trying to beat the life out of this Akuma for all the harm it caused. Not just to Paris or to her, but to _Adrien_.

_No one _hurt Adrien and lived to see another day!

Her rationality (the voice in her head that sounded a lot like Tikki) finally reined in on her mental state after narrowly dodging a beam attack. If she didn't get her act together she'd end up like Chat and Paris would be doomed for sure.

With a few minutes left before she would transform back, Ladybug made use of her previous plan with the Lucky Charm and freed the Akuma. She purified it, released the butterfly, and then cleansed all of Paris with a shout of, "Miraculous Ladybug!"

As per usual things went back to how they were before the super villain struck. That included the return of her Kitty.

"Chat!" she cried and flung herself at her partner.

Chat Noir was slightly taken aback, but never one to turn down his Lady he returned the hug. "Is this how we congratulate each other on defeating the villains now?" he chuckled, "I don't mind, though I admit I will miss the fist bumps."

Ladybug shook her head, ignoring his jest as she checked him over for damage. "You weren't hurt were you?"

Chat shrugged, nonchalant, "Nah. It was pretty painless. Though that weird pocket dimension he sent me was pretty lonely. Just a big, black void." He shuddered and Ladybug looked at him in pity. He reassured her, "It was fine though because I knew you'd save me, M'Lady."

Ladybug was taken aback by his statement. True, they had been in this situation many times before, and Chat Noir always said something along the lines of those words, but this time they made her feel cold and shameful.

She lost control today. She didn't utilize her Lucky Charm the way it should have been and almost got herself captured. If she hadn't returned to her senses Paris would have fallen and Hawk Moth would have won.

She almost failed…

All because knowing who exactly Chat was effected her so deeply.

She loved him. Loved him with all her heart. It's a feeling so intense that it caused her to lose control of her emotions and her actions, even in the worst of times.

This wasn't good…

She can't go on like this…

If Paris is to be safe then she had to do the right thing. She had to give up her Miraculous.

Chat Noir noticed the look on Ladybug's face and regarded her with a concerned look, "Ladybug? You okay?"

Ladybug shook her head. "I can't do this anymore."

And then she proceeded to jump off the roof they were standing on and into the alley to de-transform. Once she was Marinette again she took off down the street.

"W-What? H-Hey, Marinette, wait!" Chat called out to her, following her lead. "What do you mean you can't do this anymore?"

Marinette didn't look back, she knew Adrien would de-transform and follow her out into the street, "I mean, I can't allow what happened today to _ever _happen again."

She felt Adrien grab her arm and led her away from any prying eyes or open ears. Once in a secluded area, he twisted her around to face him, "What are you talking about? What happened after I got hit?"

Marinette sighed and tried her best to avoid his gaze. "Adrien…I lost control. After the Akuma caught you I just… I don't know, I freaked out. I got so angry that you were gone that I just relentlessly went at it with the Akuma and didn't even _think _to actually use my Lucky Charm like normal! I almost got hit too, Adrien! We almost lost all because I couldn't keep my emotions in check!"

Adrien regarded her confession with confusion, "I still don't understand what that has to do with you saying you 'can't do this anymore.'"

Marinette braced herself, "If this happens again, or worse, becomes a regular thing, then Paris will never be properly protected. We can't afford that to happen! So, for the greater good I'm going to see Master Fu and I'm going to give up my Miraculous."

His reaction was something she expected: jaw dropping, eyes wide, and a loud protest on his lips. "You're going to _quit_?! Marinette, are you insane? You can't just _quit_! Paris needs you! You're the best person for the job!"

"Adrien—"

"So I got attacked and captured by the Akuma, big deal! It happens all the time! And besides, you _always _bring me back! That's never stopped you before!"

"Well I didn't know who you actually _were before_!"

She didn't mean to yell out that statement but she did, and now Adrien was staring at her gobsmacked. She decided to utilize his stunned silence to continue with her explanation.

"Yes it's happened multiple times in the past, but things are so much different now! Adrien…_I love you_! So much it actually _physically hurts _sometimes! When you pushed me out of the way to take that hit, it broke something in me. Knowing it's you under the mask has changed everything. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret revealing our identities, but if this is to be a recurrent thing then I think it'd be in everyone's best interest if we found a Ladybug who could actually keep a level head even when their partner is in danger."

Satisfied with her reasoning, Marinette about-faced and headed in the direction of the movie theater where she knew Fu spent most of his time hiding out at. She purposefully ignored Tikki's pleas for her to calm down and reconsider her decision. However, before she could turn around the corner and out of their secluded hiding spot, Adrien stepped in front of her, blocking her path.

He gently grabbed her arms to keep her in place. "Marinette, listen to me. I love you too. More than you probably will ever know. But this is ridiculous! _You're Ladybug_. Nobody else. So you made a mistake. You make them all the time! But what's important is that you _learn _from those mistakes and you make yourself better. So me getting hurt or trapped in an infinite void hurts you too. Okay, that's fine. But you need to remember that in the end, you _succeed_ and you _always _bring me back!"

Marinette glared at him, "But—"

"Besides," he interrupted her, knowing full well she hated it when he did that to her, "you're the next Guardian. You just can't quit that, can you? Master Fu said he'd have a hard time picking anyone else."

Marinette rolled her eyes at that. "I can still be the Guardian and not fight. I'll find the perfect Ladybug to pass the earrings onto. And if you and whoever I pick need help in a fight then one of you would just come to me and I'd pick one of our trusted allies."

Adrien's expression was not amused. "Stop that! You are not giving up your Miraculous and that's final!"

Marinette growled, "Don't tell me what to do! Why don't you understand? Shouldn't you feel the exact same way I do? Doesn't knowing who I am underneath the mask make things more difficult for you?"

"Of course it does!" he argued, "But the only difference between you and me is the fact that I fell in love with the superhero you _before _I found out who you really were!"

Now it was Marinette's turn to become silent.

Adrien continued, "I fell in love with Ladybug first. We were already in these dangerous situations and there was no going back. Every time you got hit, it felt like a punch to the gut. Heck," he gave a dry, self-deprecated chuckle here, "when I was Aspik I failed to save you 25,913 times. Believe me, Marinette, I know perfectly well what it feels like to fail the person you love."

Marinette frowned. Now she felt terrible. _Of course _Adrien knew what she was going through. He had been dealing with it since the beginning.

"I'm so sorry."

"Nothing to apologize for, Love." He said, kissing her forehead. "But you need to understand that even though knowing who you are makes things more complicated, it also makes my resolve to protect you so much stronger. It's my job to be your shield, to make sure you make it out of the battle alive to save everyone. I've resigned to my fate, and I always put my trust in you to save me too. That's what being your partner means to me. Marinette, you need to trust yourself more; trust that no matter what happens to me, you will save the day in the end."

Marinette was speechless. She knew Adrien loved her and would protect her but hearing him verbalize his feelings always sent her emotions spiraling. She felt tears build up in her eyes and she couldn't seem to stop them. She finally broke down when he pulled her into his arms for a crushing hug.

"I…" she sniffed and sobbed, "I promise I'll do better! I'll protect you too. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I know." He said gently, smoothing down her hair and pressing a peck on the top of her head.

They embraced for a few precious moments before Marinette gave one final sniff and pulled away, wiping her tears.

"S-Sorry. I know I can get really emotional…"

Adrien chuckled and helped her clean her face. "Stop apologizing M'Lady. It's only natural you get overwhelmed by how strongly you love me."

He gave her a teasing, smug grin as she huffed in mock indignation and swatted his arm. "I take it all back then."

"No, it's too late, no do-over's!"

"I thought I told you not to tell me what to do!"

They laughed good-naturedly at each other, their previous angst forgotten. Adrien took his love's hand and offered to walk her home.

"So we're all good now, right? No more rash decisions to give up your promising career as Paris's greatest superhero?"

Marinette nodded, "Yeah, we're good. Thank you, by the way, for talking everything through with me."

"You're welcome. It's my job to balance you out after all."

Marinette smiled, "Yeah, as long as I have you by my side, I'll be okay."

Adrien winked, "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

Marinette blushed, she doesn't know if she'll ever get used to Adrien being overly affectionate with her.

As they walked she mentally went over the previous battle and her partner's words to her. He was right, they can't stop the danger befalling their love, but they can resolve to protect them no matter what. It's not just Paris they have a duty to but each other as well.

That's why Marinette decided to strengthen her resolve. If Adrien was convicted to giving his all to protect her, then she'll have to give back as much if not more. He's her rock, and without him she'd be lost.

She won't lose control again. She won't fall. She'll protect her Kitty no matter what. Because she loves him too much to fail him now.

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**AN: **Meh, ending kind of sucked but whatever. I wanted some angst after writing my stupidly self-indulgent crack fic.

Please review if you enjoyed it!


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